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Fail Better

by Moonraker

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"The Horse I Rode in On" "You sleep on the floor, get your dreams off the ceiling. Who do you think you are? Who the fuck are you kidding?" - what my reflection said. "If you're such an open book, why's there dust on your jacket? More like an open folder with the files redacted." - what my reflection said, That's what my reflection said, he's always shaking his head. "How you gonna stop me from grinning if you can't even stop the room from spinning?" I wish I was actually good at the couple things I'm actually good at.
"Some Enchanted Evening" Wave my white flag higher, I'm under too much friendly fire. After this conversation, take my temperature with a geiger counter. I don't care what I promised you, best behavior or not, let's hope this dress shirt's bullet-proof, there's been a fair amount of shots. Put my insecurities on the fridge for everyone to see. Cut my shirts all into tank-tops, I wear my future on my sleeve. Don't ask me what I do for a living. As a matter of fact, don't ask me anything. Cause you're raining lemons on my parade. But there's no citrus in this bullshit, so don't ask for lemonade. How long til you get it together? Am I supposed to wait forever? How long til you get it together? I can't fucking wait forever. Put my insecurities on the fridge for everyone to see. I'm making everyone uncomfortable, so now they feel the same as me. And it's probably best if I just leave...
"Me vs Everyone" There was never a gallery, I was just wearing rougue-colored glasses. "They know what they did to me," but they probably won't if you ask them. Set me up to fall, cause I love the shiver of my back to the wall and nothing left in my quiver. I know what I'm doing, or I did when I started but get that in writing cause my word is garbage. I'm a blanket statement in a stranger's basement. Fashion my lungs into bagpipes. Squeeze tight, make it harder to breathe. Cause if it's not me vs everyone then it's only me. It's only me. Where you going tonight? Some place exotic? No one's choosing sides, they're just living their lives. I'm no one's antagonist. Set me up to fall, cause I love the rush of my back in a corner and my hand on a paintbrush. (keep kicking me, keep kicking me when I'm down...) Flirted with the thought of being someone who hates this, but the grass is always greener in the Matrix.
Wax Bath 03:08
"Wax Bath" No checking account, cause why break tradition? My head's in the clouds, my body's stuck in this kitchen cleaning other people's dishes, catching dust with a degree. My future's in remission, woe's fucking me. I can't turn an ultimatum into next month's rent. I'm not be making dollars, but you're not making sense. Squeeze in the lime so I can't taste the failure. I'm not in the mood tonight, so can we please do this later? None of my enemies are losing sleep over me. My head's in the clouds, but more accurately it's on Kreig's bathroom floor on my body, passed out cause his bathtub wasn't gonna throw up in itself. So give me a call when you're hitting rock bottom, I'll give you the tour. I don't need your sympathy. I need a long nap in a wax bath, I need my friends to stop making me look bad. I need a plan of attack and a new set of taps, so I can dance on the backs of butterflies in the past. Your small violin and your tiny symphony are falling on deaf ears, I don't need your sympathy, I need you to... Squeeze in the lime so I can't taste the failure. I'm not in the mood tonight, so can we please do this later? I'm the Nicorette gum in the mouth of a smoking gun. I've got 99 first-world problems, and I'll bitch about every one.
"The Gangs Returned to Class and Became Honor Students" Let's throw these words down for kindling, because this hell is freezing Stab all these eardrums, I'm not interested in hearing the familiar echo of footsteps leaving Cover this chest with bandage for the cuts I don't wish to brandish instead of wearing them like a metal of valor I didn't deserve. Cause I'm still a coward. Hold on to that fucking thought Wish I could hold onto that thought Hold on, hold on The sirens are loud, but I can't make them out. Just distractions from feeling the ship run aground. You saw the danger, but I didn't listen. I was too concerned with what I thought I was missing If I look for comfort in tragedies then I'll build them up into majesties But Kings and Queens are just figureheads and my Parliament's royally shitting it's bed.
"Sandpaper Skin" I've been breaking records with how often I've been breaking down. I didn't fix the engine, I just let the warning light burn out. A centaur at the center of a one horse town, I'm a perfectly built boat underneath a perfect storm cloud. My sandpaper skin is getting harder to sleep in. I didn't see the game- of sports or of thrones, so the water cooler's not the best place for me in this room. I'm not that well adjusted but these tickets are good for wells, so if you pull up a basket I can talk you through the gates of hell. I drove by the graveyard again on my way to stand in the same spot for eight hours on end. I just really wanted you to like me, I just really needed you to tell me that it's never too late to be the person who you want to be. But it's probably too late for me.
"The Story is Happy End" Where did you go? I'm just dying to know. Is the light in your eye standing still, or just dying slow? Try to swim upstream, the shame is drowning me. Flood my lungs with apathy. I'm somber like a summer wildfire, just an effigy inching towards the pyre. Burning up or burning down, just a candlelight to flicker out. I won't blame you for having doubts. But keep your head up and don't wait up. Stop watching the clock waiting for me to give up. I'll be here for awhile. Going nowhere in style. Rejection starts losing it's punch when you've already poisoned all of the punch. It will shock you how fast you'll forget this and laugh, now watch this jester try to live down his craft. Hold onto your fingertips, stoke up the embers. Never give up, never surrender.
Bronze Boys 03:27
"Bronze Boys" The flock painted themselves black so we hung in the back, our true colors were showing. Don't let em see your white wool, the room's full of alpha wolves in underdogs' clothing. When they called, "All hands on deck!" we were down in the cabin drinking ourselves to death. Cursing the captain, cursed to remember the way things actually happened. No parades, no accolades for the guy who was also there, but just out of the frame. I'm not on the slide, I'm the jaded eye at the other end of the microscope while my partner wins the Nobel Prize. I've got stiffer drinks lined up to chase this bourbon like it stole government secrets. In a black fucking suburban. I'm the ghost who walks back home to sip spirits all alone til the thoughts inside my skull change color: jade, silver, then gold. Times have changed, it's a new Golden Age. I'm more inspired by my peers then by my heroes these days. They're at the top of the mountain, I'm still pushing this god-damn rock. I'll be at the summit by sunset, and back at the bottom by dawn. No parades, no accolades when your teammates have gold medals and you're struggling for third place. I don't have the best time on the track, but I'm having the best time just taking my laps. And if i get to do the things that I've done, then it's ok that bronze is all that I won.
X-Rays 03:38
"X-Rays" I'm hemorrhaging funds, I'm losing patience and control and the devil hates getting low-balled, so I can't get shit for my soul. And I can't afford to keep us warm, so we'll freeze all winter long. These masterpieces burn faster and shittier than logs. I'm gonna be nervous soon, the caterpillars in my stomach are spinning their cocoons. When we get the X-rays back we'll see if you're ever setting foot back in the ring. That's the bell, go back to the corner you painted yourself into. I never had the rush of endorphins that I needed to pick myself up from the bottom, but I should get a Nike endorsement for how quickly I can run away from my problems. Now I can't dust my shoes off to go for a jog, they've been up on the shelf since you dipped them in bronze. They used to be my getaway, but these days they're more for display. I dress in cliches to the nines. I sleep in belfries, I've been so blind. And I'd love to say, "I'll wipe that smile off your face," but my threats are as empty as my trophy case. When we get the X-rays back you'll see you'll have to cut me cause I'm still not listening. I didn't hear a bell so I'll keep cutting corners like I always do.
"The Illusionist" A grown man crying in the driver seat of a car that's registered to me can pull a tablecloth out without breaking a plate, but when you pull out the rug I'll land flat on my face. With a flick of my wrist, and some pupil dilation I could solve all my problems, but not the equations or reach in this hat and pull out a prescription to deal with my issues, cause I've got subscriptions. White doves, red herrings. Black lungs, dead canaries. There's nothing up my sleeve, there's nothing in my pockets. I'm in too deep to leave. A delivery boy in borrowed dress shoes sweating his way through this interview in a shirt that his mother had to help him iron, whose particular skill set won't help him get hired. She's in distress, but I'm in Nebraska and I called her back, but it could have been faster. When I snap my fingers her smile will disappear... Abra-fucking-cadabra. And I would saw myself in half if it would warrant a room full of claps. Yeah, I would saw myself in half for half a bar full of half-hearted pats on the back. White doves, red herrings. Black lungs, dead canaries. There's nothing up my sleeve, there's nothing in my pockets. I'm in too deep to leave. And that's fine by me.
"No, I Think You're the Tar Pit" Is that a car key in your nose? I thought you were a germaphobe. I thought I knew you better, I thought you were better I suppose. But I'm the lifeguard of this pool made of my insides, eating my words and I'm not waiting 30 minutes to jump inside. I'm gonna die here in this small pond like the big fish that I thought I was. Sweep me under the carpet, pull me out of this tar pit and pour the fucking feathers on. Is that a second chance you're asking for? Cause it's closer to 40 if we're keeping score. I thought you thought more highly of yourself, I thought you wanted more. You can raise your expectations higher than the bottom shelf, you can throw away the plans you made to sabotage yourself. You don't have to die here in this small pond.
"And the Hearse I Rode Out In" I wish I was actually good at the one thing I'm actually good at, and I wish you were as good as me at actually believing in me. You can't go back where you came from when everyone in the forest has a taste for bread crumbs and advice locked and loaded on the tip of their tongue to make you second guess everything that you've done. "You take things too literally and over-dramatically. You're always: 'Swords and daggers/corpses and cadavers,' shit that doesn't matter, you're not gonna climb that ladder. If you break through the ceiling, there's just another floor, you're gonna take it too hard if you get hurt like before." "You're still fighting a war after both sides signed a treaty. It's time to grow up and it's time for retreating." That's what the people who love me said. That's how it got in my reflection's head. But if you're not gonna listen to me, I don't think I will. The room is always spinning but I'm still. I'm still. I'm still always: 'Swords


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released October 14, 2016


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Moonraker Santa Clarita, California

The Michael Jordan of Baseball of Punk Rock

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